i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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