YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
