you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
