from now on my penis is your penis
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
