I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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