okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
