my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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