ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
