so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
