My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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