Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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