You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
