I think my fart just growled at me.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
