put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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