Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
