Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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