remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
BRING THE BAGELS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
