Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
