There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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