ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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