is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
