what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
