Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
