You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
