can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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