And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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