Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The beer is more important than you right now.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
