He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
