Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
