Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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