Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you didnt know i had herpes?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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