I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
