Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Farmville is her only friend.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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