the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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