I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
