There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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