whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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