2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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