eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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