And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
