So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
