How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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