I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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