I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize