is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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