I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
