How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
