I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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