the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize