My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
