The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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