You work out of a Hotel?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
