32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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