I wish my penis had an off switch
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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