this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
