dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
