My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
