yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
