Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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