I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
