Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
